Friday, March 28, 2008.

I cannot go under the facade that I'm not sad/bored/nonchalent.
Sometimes I just cant smile and be high like I used to.
Cherine's post just struck me, I really really miss Sec 3 life, it was like the start of everything new and the end to all my shit.
Why does time fly so fast? Its an unnecessary question, but the sheer fact that its going to be April and we'll be saying goodbye to each other in another 6 months is... overwhelming.
I'm ashamed to say that I'm scared of time. I really am.
Secondary three was, fantastic.
Thoough in the beginning of the year everyone in class was so caught up in studies, everything reverted back to normal after we got the hang of it.
Exams, study dates with the weirdest combination, tuition, respiratory tract infection, council, marco polo, jiemeis. I was so carefree and loud and so happy, now Im just this mess, a very tangled mess when I had a bad start this year.

Why have I been so dumb to pursue something that is non existent?
Why have I given up so easily on something I want so much?
In this period of aberration, Im not taking anything very seriously.
I'm lost, for now.

Jiemuiixx, helped me pull through.
I realised I havent spend a lot of time with you all, and when I do, I just shoot off without using my pea brain.
I'm extremely sorry for all the shit I've put you all through, and I'm deeply grateful that you guys pulled me up from the sailongkang.

Council, is a roller coaster ride. To all in Pub, I'm sorry if I havent been an organised leader and have been demanding for such high standards, its just I want the best for you guys. Those who havent been coming, please come back, dont give up on me before I give up on you. Sorry to the exco, I know I am super sloppy.

I am feeling rather ambivalent about my situation now. I feel empty, I dont know why. I dont like to label this as emo, but self reflection. And this sucks fucking big time because I have been bad.

Thank you for forgiving me Shu, I'm glad things are slowly turning back to normal.

I should change.
I should stop grumbling about everything, its jut so irritating, to even think of it.
I'm sorry I'm taciturn about certain things, its just because I dont feel like talking.
I dont wanna sink into a deeper quagmire than I've been before, I really want to get up on my feet.

I'm screwed up dong nan xi bei.

But who'll help me?

Haha, oh dear God, what an irony.

7:28 AM
Fashion?